Christmas Story
Posted by auntbob on November 19 2009 07:22:10
I submitted this to our office newsletter and thought I would SHARE w/my buds on the site. Couldn't find how to open a new thread anymore so I decided to just post it as part of Read More. Hopefully, it will make you at least smile.
Extended News
DISASTER NARROWLY AVERTED AT NORTH POLE
When rumors of a shutdown in toy production at the North Pole reached the Quincy Times, your intrepid reporters Deb and Barb volunteered to take on the hazardous assignment and get to THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER.
Upon arriving at the North Pole, the two reporters instantly noted work was continuing in the toy shop and to outward appearances, everything was running smoothly. The Public Relations Elf assured Deb and Barb that everything was progressing on schedule, and Christmas would arrive without a hitch. Deb, however, could smell a story in the air and punched through the elf's public relations propoganda until he broke down and, rather than spill the beans himself, sent the reporters to meet with Mrs. Claus.
Mrs. Claus welcomed Deb and Barb into her cozy kitchen and assured them that all was well as she offered them milk and cookies for refreshments. However, Deb restrained Barb from digging into those warm, fragrant, soft, fresh out of the oven cookies and demanded, "What was Santa's frame of mind after Thanksgiving this year Mrs. Claus? There have been rumors that he has not been happy w/the whole Black Friday frenzy that has gripped the nation in recent years."
Seeing Deb's determination, Mrs. Claus brought out her special eggnog that she assured the reporters would put the roses back in their cheeks. Barb reached eagerly for her first mug, but again, Deb stopped her. "Mrs. Claus," she said with a steely glint in her eye, "I know a bribe when I see one."
Lips trembling slightly, Mrs. Claus denied any such accusations, but Deb persisted until Mrs. Claus grudgingly admitted that Santa had been getting more depressed each year with the Thanksgiving traditions that were emerging in America.
"Of course, there's the Thanksgiving parades which he has to be in, and then all the stores with shopping specials that he has to visit to see the children ...... the children ..... Kris says the parents are so busy BUYING presents for their children, that they don't even bring them to the stores the whole weekend after Thanksgiving. He hates Black Friday! He is exhausted after the parades and then to have to search out children in the malls to get their lists from ..... That Sunday night after Thanksgiving the elf at the control tower said everything was fine. That the reindeer had overshot the landing field, but there was nothing to worry about. Then when he didn't return for so long ..... " at this point Mrs. Claus broke down into tears, poured herself and Barb another mug her special eggnog, and refused to answer any more questions.
Leaving Mrs. Claus to the sympathetic care of Barb and the eggnog, Deb went to the contol tower where she confronted the elf in charge.
"Mrs. Claus told you about that?" the elf asked. Then shrugging in acceptance, he continued. "Well, yeah, the reindeer flew right over the North Pole and just kept going. We were all pretty concerned because Santa has been getting more and more depressed over the whole Black Friday - shopping after Thanksgiving business. Says it's pretty hard to check his list twice when he doesn't even .... well... let's just say he's been getting home crankier every year.
This year the control tower saw his approach and was a little concerned when there was no response from the sleigh. But then the reindeer just flew right over and, we knew something was very wrong. Jingles! They were half way to the South Pole before we got their attention and they headed back!
Santa used to leave the stores when they closed Sunday night. Now they stay open til midnight so he leaves when the children SHOULD be in bed. He's usually home by midnight at the latest. This year he just flew right on over us and kept on going!"
Realizing Deb was recording every word he said, the control tower elf hesitated and then said, "Really, you should talk to Santa's co pilot elf. He's the one who should know what really happened." With that said, a group of security elves appeared and escorted Deb out of the tower.
Stopping by the Claus kitchen and retrieving a very rosey cheeked Barb, Deb went in search of Santa's co-pilot. It was not an easy task. The co-pilot had apparently been forewarned and was hiding in the shop holding the misfit toys with a plate of cookies and a flask of eggnog.
"It wasn't my fault!" he protested when Deb found him. Barb instantly put her arm around his shoulders and patted him on the back to console him while helping herself to some of his eggnog. Her sympathetic actions broke down his defenses.
"Santa and I were in the middle of a pretty intense game on our laptops when we reached the North Pole! We didn't hear the control tower because we had our earphones on for the game! Besides, it's not OUR job to fly that sleigh! It's Rudolph's! But is he the one being questioned? Oh No! Just because the light was on his bluetooth and he was talking on his cell phone the whole way home, doesn't matter! Just ask any of the other reindeer! And if you wanna know what I think, I think there's more to that red nose of his than what they're letting on." Taking his flask of eggnog from Barb, he took a long drink and continued, " He sure seems to like Mrs. Claus's eggnog too! Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer indeed!
By now the co-pilot's words were beginning to slur. "They're just jealous because they can't laugh and play games while flying like Santa and I can. Oh no -- pilot error -- that's who gets blamed! I tell you, it wasn't my fault!"
At this point, the security elves found Deb and Barb and once again escorted them back to the Claus kitchen where they found a very rosey cheeked Santa sitting at the kitchen table. Deb had so much trouble restraining Barb from enjoying more eggnog, that she was unable to get a word in edgewise over Barb's protests of "It's just eggnog!"
With a twinkle in his eye, Santa rubbed the side of his nose and gave them a big "Merry Christmas!" as a troop security elves guided the two of them back to their transport where they then were then told to return to Quincy.
At press time Deb has yet to question Santa on his version of the event, Barb is in rehab, and Rudolph remains unavailable for comment.